THE LAST TEMPTATION OF HOMER

SEASON 5 EPISODE 9 (EPISODE 90)

THIS IS IT:

Here you have Homer facing temptation and questioning his love for Marge which ultimately has never been in question at all.  It begins with Bart painting new parking space lines (“a mere one foot narrower”) in the school car park.  When the inevitable occurs it is Seymour and Edna that get into an argument is to who is poorly parked and too close to the other.  Bart gets his moment.  With this we cut to Miss Krabappel’s classroom where she is running the riot saying how American is a democracy where people are innocent until proven guilt except her classroom is not a democracy.  With a laugh she incriminates Bart saying that for the rest of the year he will be the first student called upon for every question.  And the first question is how to pronounce “photosynthesis” at which point it is revealed that Bart has bad eyesight as he is unable to read the blurred word.  With this revelation Krabappel debates whether poor vision is to blame for his bad academic record as Bart states “you mean it’s not me noggin, its me peepers?” in a Cockney accent.  Meanwhile at the nuclear power plant Homer, Lenny, Carl and another colleague (who it turns out is the Dangerous Emissions Supervisor) play a joke on a work colleague while he moves nuclear rods.  As the prank goes wrong and the area becomes contaminated with radiation they run away from the scene heading to hide at Lenny’s house as they attempt to escape through an emergency exit which actually turns out to be just painted onto the plant wall.  And with that they appear to perish.  The episode then cuts to their unnamed colleague stood in front of Mr Burns saying they had a “miraculous escape” without explaining it before telling him that need a real emergency exit.  Characteristically Burns responds with sarcasm before dispensing of the man by pressing a red button and having him sucked up a tube.  After the deed Burns asks Smithers where the tube goes as he states he doesn’t know “it was here when we moved in” as the scene cuts to India where the employee lands on a table and it encouraged/forced to dance for the six Indian gentleman sat before him.  Now an employee down Smithers states that they will now need a new Dangerous Emissions Supervisor as Burns instructs him to find someone cheap as he states that it has been a very lean year for the company before he and Smithers partake in a money fight.  The first person to be tested for the role is Zutroy a non-English speaking employee who works each day on the promise of earning a shiny penny.  Unfortunately at this point the Department Of Labour storm the company through the ceiling on ropes as Agent Wilson states that Zutroy is an illegal alien.  It is then stated that the plant violates every labour law in the book.  The Department Of Labour even found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in the reactor core.  In defence Burns does say that their plane crashed on his property.  Determined to bring about change the Department Of Labour tell Burns to begin by reversing his sexist employment policies and hire at least one woman.  With resignation Burns says that he will bring in a woman but still stand by his hiring policies at which point a duck in a hard hat called Stewart pulling a cart is ordered to get back to work.  Returning to Bart’s situation we cut to the HMO (Hibbert Moneymaking Organization).  As he asks Marge whether she has health insurance it transpires that he also has a suction tube similar to Burns as he preps for the possibility of her saying no.  After a visit with the optometrist it turns out that Bart has temporary condition called “lazy eye” as he is given a pair of dorky thick rimmed glasses to wear for two weeks.  At this point the optometrist notices also that his scalp is dry and states that he should see the dermatologist who gives him goo to put into his hair every thirty minutes as we then cross to the foot doctor who gives him heavy shoes followed by the dentist who states that his throat looks red and sprays him in the mouth which causes his voice turn a combination of high and old.  And with that Bart suddenly resembles a cross between Jerry Lewis and an old Jewish man.  Back to the plant where Lenny and Carl worry about the appointment of a woman (“we won’t be able to spit on the floor”, “yeah and we won’t be able to take off our pants when it gets real hot”) as Homer adds concern that “we won’t be able to pee in the drinking fountain” as his admission takes things a little too far.  At this point Smithers turns up to introduce their new co-worker Mindy Simmons (“she has a degree in engineering or something”).  Lenny and Carl are nonchalant in their reception but Homer finds himself transfixed by the redhead as he immediately fantasises about her which involves Lenny and Carl who asks “ain’t you never seen a naked chick riding a clam before?”  And with this Homer announces “gotta go” as he tears out of the room in a panic before asking himself “what the hell was that?  I probably shouldn’t have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.”  Returning to school we catch sight of Bart stepping into class wearing glasses and heavy shoes with his hair pasted down as Sherri and Terri are the first people to mock him (“nice glasses four eyes”) before Nelson chips in “yeah nice shoes, er, two feet.”  Even Martin gets stuck in as he comments “your appearance is comical to me” as Bart looks at Milhouse catching his reflection in his glasses gasping “I’m a nerd” to which Milhouse responds “so am I” as he catches his own reflection in Bart’s glasses.  Back to Homer and after a day of work he returns to his car declaring “another day, another box of stolen pens” as he throws today’s gain onto a large pile on the back seat.  At this point Mindy shouts “have a good night Homer” as she speeds off on a motorbike and Homer gets in his car registering “no goosebumps.  No hallucinations.  That last time was just a fluke” and with that he drives home accidentally going in reverse as numerous cars veer off the road to avoid him until he finally winds up crashing into the Trout Hatchery where upon driving into a pool of trout that pop up and sing “Homer loves Mindy” before the cherub versions of Lenny and Carl return to tell him that he is hallucinating again (“not a good sign”).  And with that the first act clearly ends.  We next cut to Homer in the plant kitchen with Lenny and Carl as he cagily asks them what they think of Mindy.  Not responding to their actual answer Homer responds “yeah, that Mindy seems real nice”.  Concerned Lenny asks “what’s wrong with you, you’re talking through a coffee break” and Carl adds “yeah, you usually just take the box of doughnuts into the bathroom with you” as again not registering what they say Homer just states “Mindy has a motorcycle”.  Back to school and in an effort to prove to his schoolmates that he is still cool Bart pulls his skateboard from his locker and announces “look everybody, I’m the same person I always once” before his clunky new shoes prevent him for pulling off a stunt causing him to crash into lockers where a pile of books fall on him including a copy of Advanced Calculus which lands over his face.  At this point Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph appear with Jimbo accusing “hey, he’s learning on his own” before Kearney adds “get him”.  And with that a beating ensues.  With this we cut back to Homer who is now in Moe’s Tavern with Barney where he is asking Moe for his advice using the pretend name of Joey Joe-Joe Junior Shabadoo at which point he announces that is the worst name he has ever heard as in the background a patron exits crying as it turns out that Barney knows him as he calls for him to come back.  At this point Barney offers Homer the advice “your infatuation is based on a physical attraction.  Talk to the woman and you’ll realise you have nothing in common” as astounded Homer states how the advice is so insightful asking how he came up with it and he responds “it was on one of these bar napkins”.  Returning the nuclear plant pensively Homer engages Mindy in conversation in the staff kitchen while she is eating doughnuts (“lets have a conversation, I think we’ll find we have very little in common”) as initially she responds to his approach with “can’t talk, eating”.  At this point he notices she is eating his favourite variety of doughnut raspberry swirl with a double glaze as she proceeds to drawl Homer style at the concept of double glaze and with this Homer accept that they have one thing in common.  Then playing with reverse psychology Homer states “you know what I hate, drinking beer and watching TV” as Mindy responds how she loves those pursuits (“not me, that’s my idea of heaven”) as plainly the pair of them are soul mates waiting to happen.  As Homer concedes he likes those too Mindy leaves stating “I can see I’m going to love working with you” before adding that she is going to see if she can sneak in a quick nap before lunch.  Now in a confused place Homer declares “foul temptress, I bet she thinks Ziggy’s got too preachy too”.  Moving forward we catch Homer at the end of work sighing with relief how he made it the whole day without seeing Mindy as he presses the button of the elevator only for her to be aboard.  Awkwardness ensues as after Homer screams Mindy clumsily says “I guess we’ll be going down together, I mean getting off together” as equally embarrassed Homer adds “that’s OK, I’ll just push the button for the stimulator, I mean elevator”.  With tension in the air we cut to the inside of Homer’s mind where he is saying “think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts” as he cuts to the vision of Selma and Patty shaving their legs followed by Barney wearing a bikini where as he burps he pops and turns into Mindy wearing the same costume and blowing Homer a kiss.  Now resigned to sexy thoughts Homer snaps back to reality where he catches Mindy also saying “think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts” to herself.  Panicked Homer then presses the emergency stop button announcing “well, this is my floor” as he exits the elevator falling down one of the reactor towers yelling “see you tomorrow” on the way down.  From here he returns home where Marge greets him at the door all stuffed up and full of flu as Bart then plods over in his heavy shows and glasses as Homer pats him on the head only to earn himself a hand full of goo.  Then Lisa arrives with dinner announcing “I made fish sticks.  They’re burnt on the outside but they’re frozen on the inside so it balances out”.  Then Grandpa runs past chasing Santa’s Little Helper complaining “that racoon stole my lambchop”.  What kind of madhouse has Homer returned to?  In an effort to remain faithful and a good husband Homer says to Marge “let have a little quality time together, just you and me” as Marge shows him a t-shirt from a new place at the mall that puts photos on them.  She got a discount because her image was smeared in a manner that frightens Homer at which point he reverts back to the TV where on Eye On Springfield tonight Kent Brockman is looking at the secret affairs of Kennedy, Eisenhower, Bush and Clinton.  Spooked by this selection Homer proceeds to channel hopping for something different as all shows appear to concentrate on procreation and affairs as finally a sexy ad stating Just Do It freaks him out to the point of screaming and leaving the room much to the confusion of Marge.  The Just Do It message turns out to relate to examining your scalp for ringworm as it is from the National Ringworm Association (The Other N.R.A.).  Now feeling the pressure Homer goes to a phone box to call a Marital Stress Hotline.  Unhelpfully on the other end is Ned Flanders who immediately recognises Homer and in reckless but well intentioned measure suggests a conference call with Marge as Homer yet again screams and hangs up.  In his panic to leave the phone box he bangs into the side toppling the box and knocking himself out.  At this point another hallucination appears as his guardian angel taking the appearance of Sir Isaac Newton (“somebody you’d recognise”) offers to give him advice.  Homer responds blankly asking “Sir Isaac who?”  At this point his guardian angel resigns himself to a much more lowbrow, pop culture icon as Colonel Klink from Hogan’s Heroes.  More concerned with the past than his current predicament Homer asks Klink “did you ever get my letters?”  He then further annoys Klink asking “did you know Hogan had tunnels hidden all over your camp?”  Returning to the real agenda Klink proceeds to show Homer in an out of body experience how horrible life would be if he married Mindy instead of Marge.  It actually turns out that they would live in a big mansion, play tennis and have a butler called Jeeves as quick survey of who is happy confirms that they are all happy.  Failing to make his point Klink promptly drags Homer to where Marge now lives: The White House in Washington DC where she is the president with an approval rate that is soaring.  And having felt failure Klink declares “this dream is over” as Homer falls back into his body in the phone booth where Lionel Hutz promptly turns up and tells him to get out of his office.  Back at school Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph have now been joined by Nelson and a couple of other kids (including a bumpkin adding “you’re goofy looking”) in bullying/tormenting Bart.  Then finally Bart breaks free and runs for safety at which point a mysterious arm reaches out of locker and pulls him in.  It turns out to be Martin as he lights a candle and leads Bart through a secret passage to a room where geeks and nerds habitat safely as he asks “what is this place?” as an Asian kid responds “the refuge of the damned” as Martin adds “a place where we can work on our extra credit assignments without fear of reprisal”.  Now accepted into the club another nerd greets Bart as he calls for Oliver to bring him a hard boiled egg and some prune juice.  With this Martin declares “finally Bart is one of us” as they all yell “excelsior!”  Now seemingly with his mind made up Homer scrubs himself up spraying on deodorant while singing “Oh Mandy” with the words “Oh Mindy” instead before completely butchering the words.  Then as Homer closes the bathroom cabinet he spots Lisa stood behind who asks “dad, why are you singing?”  With this he brain kicks into action with “tell a lie, tell a lie” as his mouth says “because I have a small role in a Broadway musical, its not much but it’s a start” and his brain responds with “bravo” and applause.  Naturally not believing the lie Lisa asks clearly “are you hiding something from me?” as Homer responds “like what?” as Lisa ever the observant states “judging from your song you’re infatuated with a woman named Mindy.  Or a man named Andy”.  Once again panicked Homer hops pointing “Lisa look behind you?” as she states “I’m not going to fall for that” but as he persists with a rapid response (“no Lisa I swear…..”) she gives a quick glimpse offering him opportunity to run off saying “sucker” as he exits.  Back at the plant Homer walks with a prepared speech of “Mindy because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now” written on his hand.  Meanwhile Lenny passes in the opposite direction having his own speech on his hand “Max, what I did I did because of alcohol and anger” as passing him another employee with a giant hand has his own message of “I’m tired of these jokes about my giant hand.  The first such incident occurred in 1956 when…..”  At this point Mindy arrives and says hi to Homer as he accidentally smudges the messages and promptly forgets what he has to say to her stating “I’m sweating like Roger Ebert”.  Now while Homer is trying to give Mindy his message Mr Burns and Smithers are watching the pair of them on CCTV as Burns comments “look at those two inseparable chums Smithers, that’s exactly the teamwork we would like to showcase at this year’s energy convention”.  With this Smithers asks him if he is sure at which point Burns states “no one else seems to share the same spirit camaraderie” as the camera pans across various other CCTV feeds featuring employees fighting each other with chairs, holding each other by the throat and even Stewart the duck is pecking at a fellow employee’s eye as he lay passed out on the floor.  From here we cut to Burns telling Simpsons and Simmons that they have been chose to represent the plant at the National Energy Convention and how they will be spending two nights together in “glamorous” Capital City (“the Windy Apple”).  Mindy is excited by the news but Homer further stresses saying that “this is the worst crisis my marriage has ever faced” before calling out for Colonel Klink (“Colonel Klink, why have you forsaken me?”).  At this point his guardian angel in the form of Colonel Klink reappears asking “what is it?  Do you have a question?” as Homer laughs “did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot?”  This does not exactly help things.  The second act ends.  We cut back to the Capital City Plaza Hotel where the sign outside boasts of being “Legionnaires’ disease free since 1990”.  Inside the bellboy shows Homer to room 61 which has a king size bed which he insinuates is for sex using various animal noises and expressions to represent the act.  In response Homer snaps “stop that, I love my wife and family.  All I’m going to use this bed for is sleeping, eating and maybe building a little fort”.  With this he steps into the bathroom and gasps for joy at the complimentary mouthwash, complimentary shampoo and the free shower curtain as from the next room Mindy reacts in exactly the same way.  Hearing each other they discover their rooms are open to each other as she states “if it weren’t for this wall we’d be sleeping in the same bed” before whispering “Homer, I’ve got a really wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble” to which he responds “Mindy, we got to fight our temptation” as she insists “no Homer, lets do it, lets call room service!”  At this point back at the power plant a red warning light marked Room Service Alert flashes as Smithers reports the act to Burns who promptly orders four flying monkeys to fly and find the culprits (“fly my pretties, fly!”).  Unfortunately, despite their wings, monkeys can’t really fly as they tumble to the ground into traffic as Burns resigns “continue the research.”  Back at the hotel Homer and Mindy sit on the king size bed surrounded by empty plates as Homer scoffs pizza and Mindy eats a hotdog declaring “I can’t believe we ordered so much” as Homer declares “something’s missing” before noticing that one of the turkeys fell behind the bed.  With this they both notice the foot long chilli dog sat in the middle of the bed as they both drawl and go for it eating from each end and inevitably winding up kissing Lady And The Tramp style at which point Homers bloated gut expands causing his shirt to burst open and expose the t-shirt of Marge’s distorted face on it (nice call-back).  In his head he can hear her sigh of disapproval as he runs out the room screaming “it’s a sign”.  However it just turns out to be the bell boy polishing the corridor floor.  Meanwhile returning to Bart as he sits alone and dejected in his room wearing his glasses and heavy shoes he is joined by Marge who steps into the room announcing “good news honey, two weeks are up you don’t have to wear your glasses anymore and your scalp and posture seem fine” at which point Bart yells “yes!” as he kicks off his shoes straight out of his window and through his neighbours window where Ned Flanders is sat reading a newspaper while Rod and Todd lay on the floor playing a board game.  Soughting explanation Ned asks “kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes?” at which point Rod puts up his hand and says “I did”.  Returning to school we join Nelson, Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph in conference discussing how they have been working Bart over (“we’ve been doing a lot of upper body work on Bart.  Today, lets pound his kidneys”).  Then as Bart returns humming victoriously, Nelson is shocked by his change in appearance.  Now feeling confident again Bart approaches the group saying “gentleman the nerd you knew is dead.  Beat me and you will be beating one of your own” to which Nelson responds “whatever” as they proceed to wail on him once again.  Back to Capital City and outside the National Energy Convention at the Capital City Convention Center there is irony in the fact that the welcome sign is failing to power as it flickers above the street.  Inside there are many displays for sources such as Cold Fusion, Oil Power, What About Wind?, Coal And Water and Solar Energy (“Cheap, Clean Hope For Tomorrow”).  The Solar Energy stall is manned by Hans Moleman who we see speaking to a sharp tongued shaded businessman with a gangster demeanour who asks whether solar energy works as Moleman responds “certainly does” at which point he snaps “well lots of luck” as he knocks him out with a karate chop and clicks his fingers for various goons to “clean up” the display and turn it into a Fossil Fuel stall (“Use Us And Nobody Gets Hurt”).  With this we catch up with Homer and Mindy manning the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant (“As Seen On 60 Minutes”) stall as they have to deal with a heckler shouting “thanks for poisoning the planet bastard” to which Mindy responds “get bent” as another passing heckler shouts “no more Chernobyls” as Homer shouts back “go to hell” before throwing a brick at him which we hear is a direct hit.  At this point Homer confides in Mindy about being worried about attending the convention with her but “as long as we’re not alone together….” at which point the convention public address butts in and announces “and now the moment you’ve been waiting for: this year’s king and queen of energy are Homer Simpson and Mindy Simmons” for which they win a romantic dinner alone at Madame Chao’s, the sexiest Chinese restaurant in Capital City.  Sat concerned in his crown Homer enquires “is there any way to get out of this?”  “No!”  From here we cut to the evening and Madame Chao’s where Homer and Mindy have a nice meal which she describes as “what a perfect evening” adding “it sure was nice of them to make us cheeseburgers”.  Hesitant to agree Homer reaches for his fortune cookie which reads: “you will find happiness with a new love” prompting the response “even the Chinese are against me” as he concedes “what’s the point, I can’t fight fate”.  Meanwhile in the kitchen a waiter notices that they have just run out of “you will find happiness with a new love” fortune cookies and will now have to start using the barrel of “stick with your wife” cookies.  Upon returning to their hotel Homer opens the room to his room in resignation of Mindy wanting to join him.  At this point they sit together on his bed as Mindy says “this was a really nice night” while Homer mopes then cries.  Naturally Mindy enquires what’s wrong as he responds “oh yeah, like you don’t know.  We’re going to have sex”.  Seemingly disappointed and confused Mindy responds “well, we don’t have to” as Homer insists “yes we do, the cookie told me so” as in an understanding tone she states “desserts aren’t always right”.  Now with the mood killed Mindy says “Homer you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to” as he continues to hesitate stating “maybe I want to but then I think about Marge and the kids.  Well not the boy, he drives me nuts, sometimes I’d just like to…” as he makes a strangling gesture.  And then with one final throw of the dice Mindy says “you know how I feel, so its up to you, look in your heart I think you’ll see what you want” and they kiss.  With this the background music steps up a groove as we return to the exterior then interior of the Capital City Plaza Hotel where it is now Homer and Marge sharing the room and a moment as she states that “this was a wonderful idea Homie” as they discover another turkey behind the bed.  From here the lights go off as Homer once more changes the words to “Oh Mandy” this time to “Oh Margy” and “you came and you found me a turkey, on my vacation away from worky”.  At this point so as not to get too sentimental the bellboy returns whistling and making sex noises, much to Homer’s chagrin who we hear punches him.  The end.

IS IT ANY GOOD:

Yeah, it’s a pretty sweet and solid episode.  Homer is funny and full of heart as is Michelle Pfeiffer as Mindy.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

It confirms that old adage “never shit where you eat”.  The whole Bart appearance caper confirms that indeed it is not what’s inside that counts.  And that fortune cookies are mass produced and not the source of solid knowledge or fortune.

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

The couch gag is them sat on the set of David Letterman.  Homer’s guardian angel initially takes the form of Sir Isaac Newton before changing into the form of Colonel Klink from Hogan’s Heroes as somebody Homer actually recognises.  Then there is the whole Barry Manilow songfest.  And the opening credits blackboard is a reference to The Shining.

BEST LINES:

“You mean it ain’t me noggin, its me peepers?”

BEST JOKES:

It is the reaction of Homer’s brain of saying “bravo” and clapping when he lies to Lisa about having a small part in a Broadway play when he has to explain why he is singing “Oh Mindy” in the bathroom.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

Dr Hibbert’s HMO is short for Hibbert Moneymaking Organization.  The National Ringworm Association is “the other N.R.A.”  The telephone number for the Marital Stress Hotline is KL5-1680.  Capital City is known as “the Windy Apple”.  The sexiest restaurant in Capital City is Madame Chao’s.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

Yes, this is very painful.  Years after Homer met a Mindy, I met a Mindy.  However the Mindy I knew was nowhere near as enthusiastic as the Mindy Homer knew.  What the real kicker was however was how on the day of her wedding to the guy she met after me Sky actually broadcast this episode of The Simpsons.  So not only was I being haunted by one Mindy, suddenly The Simpsons was reiterating its existence.  Such scars.

MVP:

Homer is a sweetheart.

GUEST APPEARANCES:

Michelle Pfeiffer as the aforementioned Mindy.  Werner Klemperer appears resuming his role of Colonel Klink from Hogan’s Heroes very much a reference for our parents’ generation.  This turned out to be his final television work.

SONGS:

Homer butchers and bastardises “Mandy” by Barry Manilow changing the title to “Oh Mindy” before changing lines to incomprehensible nonsense.

EPISODE LINKS:

No explicit links.  Obviously its neither the first or last visit to Capital City.

PERCULARITIES:

After this episode Mindy Simmons is never seen or heard of ever again.  Did Burns sack her for ordering room service?

BART ON THE BLACKBOARD:

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.

OTHER:

No Ralph in this episode.

FINAL WORDS:

Just more weight to the theory that Marge is the ideal woman.

HOMER’S BARBERSHOP QUARTET

SEASON 05 EPISODE 1 (EPISODE 82)

THIS IS IT:

This is one of Homer’s many forays into music cover his spell as a member of acapella group the Be Sharps.  The episode opens at the Springfield Swap Meet that includes such stalls as Handcrafts By Moe and free religious trading cards from Ned Flanders.  While rummaging through the various stalls Lisa eventually discovers an LP entitled “Meet The Be Sharps” which features her dad on the cover.  Cue flashback to when Homer recorded the album (“it was only eight years ago”, which it turns out was the magical summer of 1985).  Our first glimpse of the Be Sharps (Skinner, Homer, Chief Wiggum and Apu) is of them singing in Moe’s Tavern.  Their audience is Barney.  Rock and roll and had grown stagnant and “Achy Breaky Heart” was seven years away so something had to fill the void and that something was barbershop.  They go on a whirlwind tour of playing the local old people’s home, the prison and church and their popularity soars.  A theatrical agent called Management By Nigel (“Stars Discovered, Fortunes Made, Hats Block”) approaches Homer to represent the Be Sharps on the proviso that they get rid of Wiggum (“too Village People”).  After driving Wiggum to the middle of nowhere and dumping him the next day they begin auditioning for his replacement including Grandpa Simpson, Groundskeeper Willie, Jasper and an in disguise Chief Wiggum but it just proves “one lousy applicant after another” until they hear Barney singing in Moe’s bathroom while looking for his toothpick.  And with that he is in the band.  Initially there is protest from fans of Wiggum but once Barney begins singing the crowd of Moe’s Cavern is won over.  By this stage the band does not have a name but Apu soon comes up with the suggestion of the Be Sharps.  At this point the episode resumes with the family driving back from the swap meet and Homer boasting of making some money selling their spare tyre.  Immediately they experience a puncture and while Marge heads off to get the spare replaced (12 miles away) Homer continues telling the kids about his time in the Be Sharps.  At this point Homer is struggling to write new material but while agonising over lyrics featuring Al Capone and Geraldo Rivera, Marge shows him the Baby On Board sign that she has bought for the car so that “people will stop intentionally ramming our car.”  With Skinner on banjo they record “Baby On Board” and it proves a hit.  They are next spotted at John F Kennedy Airport 1986 fielding questions at a press conference where they field such questions as (to Apu) “isn’t it true that you are really an Indian?”, (to Barney) “how did you join the group?” and “Principal Skinner you’ve been referred to as “the funny one”, is that reputation justified?”  Their gig at the Statue Of Liberty Centennial has Ronald and Nancy Reagan in attendance.  At the same time Chief Wiggum is becoming the butt of showbiz jokes as demonstrated by Johnny Carson making a joke at his expense and referring to him as a castaway.  In response Wiggum attempts to shoot his TV but misses all four times.  Unfortunately when he changes channel it is to Joan Rivers ripping on him too.  By this stage in real time Marge has returned with a new tyre and it putting it on their car while Homer continues his story at the fame and story stage.  Here we rejoin proceedings at the 29^th Grammy Awards where David Crosby presents them with the award for Outstanding Soul Spoken Word or Barbershop Album Of The Year.  At the after show party Homer experiences the greatest thrill of his life as George Harrison points him towards a big pile of brownies.  Later Homer phones home where he asks Lisa if she saw daddy on the Grammy’s to which she responds “you beat Dexy’s Midnight Runners.”  After the call while looking out at the Hollywood sign and an advertising billboard for Happy Family Brand Bourbon it hits Homer how much he is missing his family.  At this point a bottle of champagne is delivered to his room but when he has no change to give the hotel employee he hands him his Grammy (“wow, an awards statue”), which is promptly dismissed as being only “a Grammy” and thrown off the hotel room balcony.  Below it hits a stranger who promptly throws it back (“hey, don’t throw your garbage down here”) which hits Homer square on the head.  Returning to the real time the family are now back home where Homer digs out a box marked “Be Sharps Stuff” which he dusts off and opens to reveal a lunchbox, coffee mug and funny foam dispenser.  At this point Lisa and Bart ask why the band is no longer popular.  Bart asks if they screwed up like the Beatles and said “they were bigger than Jesus” at which point Homer responds “all the time.  It was the title of our second album”.  The truth was that the band was experiencing burn out.  While Apu, Homer and Skinner continue to record they do so devoid of gusto and material (Apu to Homer “this is worse than your song about Mr T”) elsewhere Barney is with his new girlfriend the “Japanese conceptual artist”.  Dressed in all black like Beatniks his girlfriend possesses more than a passing resemblance to Yoko Ono.  With this Barney brings his own suggestions to the table as “barbershop is in danger of going stale, I’m taking it to strange new places”.  His offering however features just his girlfriend repeatedly saying “number eight” while he belches.  Then comes the day they know they are finished: Us Magazine prints it’s “What’s Hot, What’s Not” issue (with Alf on the cover) and the band are not hot.  With that the band go their separate ways returning to their old lives and becoming the people we have grown to know and love ever since.  In his absence Homer was replaced at the nuclear plant by a chicken, which Homer promptly cooked and ate.  In reflection Homer will never forget his five and a half weeks at the top.  Feeling nostalgic off the back of the story Homer calls up and gets the Be Sharps back together for a rooftop reunion gig at Moe’s.  Skinner comments he cannot remember the last time the band was last together but Apu reminds him it was “last year on that stupid Dame Edna special”.  With this the band performs “Baby On Board”.  Their performance coincides with Springfield’s Human Fly attempting a stunt and George Harrison passing by and commenting “its been done”.  As a crowd builds the police arrive to break things up with Wiggum agreeing that it is pretty before telling his department to get the tear gas but not before Homer jokes to the crowd “I hope we passed the audition” (a reference lost on Barney).

IS IT ANY GOOD:

Yes, the music episodes tend to be strong and this is such a sweet pastiche of The Beatles with spot on references that would have fitted comfortably in The Rutles.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

How creative differences can tear apart bands and friendships.  Also beyond the Nirvana song, this was where I first witnessed a swap meet.

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

The Be Sharps existence exhibits many of the highs and lows experienced by The Beatles.  While routing through a cheap 5 cents bin Homer discovers a copy of Action Comics #1 which he dismisses as junk.

BEST LINES:

“Dad, thanks to television I can’t remember what happened eight minutes ago” – Bart.  “That’s my son up!”, “What the balding fat ass?” “What?  No, er the Hindu guy”. – Grandpa to friend.

BEST JOKES:

“This enormous woman will devour us all.”  “You beat Dexy’s Midnight Runners.”  Happy Family Brand Bourbon.  Marge compensating for Homer’s absence with a Homer made of balloons and a bucket head.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

We found out original big-breasted Malibu Stacy dolls originate from 1958 and that Seymour Skinner was prisoner number 24601.  We also learn that Krusty released an album called “S’Wonderful, S’Marvellous, S’Krusty”.  Also much like the British Invasion there was also a Rodent Invasion in the early sixties that featured acts such as Melvin And The Squirrels.  Moe’s Tavern used to be called Moe’s Cavern.  Willie once made millions in software but lost it at the track.  Apu charges twelve dollars for a quart of milk.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

Off the back of this episode the term “Baby On Board” is now very much owned by The Simpsons.  There is no doubt that it existed before this episode but now every time I spot a pregnant person on the tube wearing a “Baby On Board” badge it conjures up memories of the Be Sharps and this episode of The Simpsons.

MVP:

Homer Simpson.

GUEST APPEARANCES:

David Crosby and George Harrison.

SONGS:

The aforementioned “Baby On Board” by the Be Sharps

EPISODE LINKS:

Marge actually has one of her paintings of Ringo Starr from episode “Brush With Greatness” up for sale.

PERCULARITIES:

Despite having previously been in a Grammy winning act the Be Sharps never seem to acknowledge each other as being former band mates in other episodes.  Aren’t band members brothers for life?  Also the way in which Marge cries when Homer is ordered professionally to deny her existence (even though it is until the end of their tour of Sweden).  Then finally Bart and Lisa hit Homer with a torrent of questions at the conclusion of his tale.

BART ON THE BLACKBOARD:

I will never win an Emmy.

OTHER:

You’re given to wonder whether Ralph inherited his father’s musical genes.

FINAL WORDS:

The music episodes tend to be particular favourites for me.